So this blog entry was supposed to be about my fish, along with a picture of the dashing fella. That entry's gonna have to wait until next time because well, just because I want to write about something else. I normally don't write anything too personal on these things, but this I feel must be put on this blog.
So, anyway, we all have friends. And with your friends, sometimes you don't always treat them as the fantastic, wonderful people that they are. Usually, you don't mean to treat them badly, but it happens. But that's okay, because usually those moments are brief, rare moments of insensitivity, arrogance, and just plain stupidity. However, when those moments are not so rare and last for long periods of time, then you know your friendship is in trouble. Because no one deserves to have a friend who does not treat them like the wonderful person that they are. Usually by this point, you have started to avoid contact with your friend because avoiding the person means avoiding the arrogance, avoiding the snide remarks, and avoiding feeling like crap. You can try talking to your friend, but after a year of trying and being told that you feeling bad is your problem and not his, what's the point? When your friend finally realizes that you are not happy with the relationship, does he stop and think that maybe he contributed to the situation? Does he wonder what went wrong? Does he even bother to listen to the people who try to help him? Or, in his naturally self-centered way, does he start his usual pity party and decide that you are at fault, that you woke up one morning and decided not to care about him? The sad part is when you do care about this friend who does not care about you. The sad part is when you see him treating his other friends badly, when you see him pick a new emotional punching bag. And you know. You know he's not only just lost you as a friend, but he's about to lose someone else, too.
changed forever.
13 years ago
1 comment:
No one deserves to feel like crap, especially from a friend. Kid, if I've hurt you that much, I apologize profusely. It's occurred to me that you were annoyed, and angry at me, but it never really hit me that you felt like my emotional punching bag, and it really tears me up inside that I could make you feel that way. I really, really, really value who you are, and god...really. I'm embarassed that I could make you feel that way, and it's probably too late now, because it's been a year, and I didn't even know why. I never thought it was your fault. I knew there was some reason why you were angry at me, but I never realized that it was such an accumulation of crap headed your way via me. And it's not your responsibility to tell me that I shouldn't. I'm an adult, and I know you, and I should have known better. I really do love you, and feel ridiculous and embarassed that I've caused you such pain. I care about you. Maybe none of this means anything anymore, because it's too big and too late by now, but I wanted to let you know...You never deserved to be treated like crap. No one does, and all I can say is that I'll try to make it up to everyone that I can, however I can.
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