Somebody stop me

Folks, it's that time again. The time where many in the United States are spend 2-3 nights a week in front of the tv cheering and booing hopeful singers. Yes, that's right. It's American Idol time. The season just began last week so we're still at the early audition/crappy singer stage. Some of the singers are amazing and I look forward to seeing how they do. Others are either in it for the attention and the five minutes of fame or are horribly disillusioned.

I had this dream a few years ago. I was at the American Idol auditions and I had agreed to audition to support a friend. My audition was only to be supportive because I, unlike some of the auditioners, was fully aware of my limitations and I knew that singing was not one of my strengths (incidentally, that's true in real life as well). So imagine my surprise that I had made it past the first two rounds of auditions! And that's when the confusion set in. I knew that I had no vocal talent whatsoever, so how did I make it to the Paula/Simon/Randy round? And then it hit me. I had made it to the third round because I sucked so badly that they put me through so that all of America could make fun of me.

And so I have a request to make. Should I ever have the misfortune of having something happen to me that would make me forget that I do not sing well, please, please, please stop me from auditioning for American Idol. It will not end well.