The Big Papa and the Hot Mama

I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with pickles. Well, maybe not unhealthy. They're technically vegetables, right? And vegetables are good for you. Anyway, a few weeks before Christmas I started to wonder if there was a "Pickle of the Month" club in existence somewhere in the world that could send me a special pickle a month. I mean, I'm sure that there are enough of us pickle lovers to warrant a club. So I searched on the internet and lo and behold, there was! I actually found two such special clubs. I was contemplating signing up for one if not both of them, when Lance caught me and put a end to my dream of pickles being delivered to my doorstep. Anyway, one of the clubs was sending these out:


The Van Holten pickle. There were four different types, two of them being the Big Papa and the Hot Mama. Anyway, I went to Safeway a few weeks ago and was thrilled to discover a brand new item in their deli case. Yes, the Big Papa and the Hot Mama! So of course I bought them both and happily took them home. I decided to try the Big Papa first. Mmm...delish. Now, I'm a huge fan of pickles and have eaten my share of large pickles. My stomach was usually able to handle it, except for that one time at Knott's where my stomach was a teensy bit upset, but that was on an empty stomach. I'm much wiser now. Anyway, so my stomach can handle large pickles, but this was the hugest pickle that I'd ever seen. So I wisely decided to cut the pickle in half and save the other half for later. So I sat down on my couch and ate my very delicious pickle. It was so good that I decided that my stomach could totally handle the other half of it. So I ate it. And I enjoyed it. And then in the middle of the night I woke up with the worst stomachache that I've ever had. The worst. I thought I was going to die.

Despite this, the next day I decided to try the Hot Mama. This pickle wasn't as large at the Big Papa, but I cut it in half anyway. I didn't regret eating the whole Big Papa the day before (that's how yummy it was), but I certainly wasn't going to risk having that horrible stomachache again. Anyway, so I sat on my couch and bit into my pickle. Good grief, the Hot Mama sure lived up to her name. It was the hottest thing that I've ever eaten. But oh so yummy. I ended up soaking my tongue and lips in a cup of water when I finally managed to finish my half. I finished the second half of the pickle the next day, but the pain wasn't as bad because I made sure to soak my lips and tongue periodically.

You'd think that after the pain that these pickles put me through I would've stayed away from the Van Holtens. But no, I went back to Safeway in search of them. I did, however, only buy two of the Big Papas, instead of one of each. I'm a little scared of the Hot Mamas, but maybe I'll revisit them during the break. I did, however, learn from this experience. I cut my Big Papas in half and ate them on different days.